Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Past

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.
~Herb Caen
This is not what I want to do but so often I find myself doing exactly that. I suppose I should be grateful that it is not like this all of the time.


5 comments:

  1. I have this belief, that the past, present, and future are all one moment in time. We, humans separate the periods to understand them easier, but they are always one. Your past, Martin, your previous home, will never, can never, and should never leave your thoughts---all you/your life. Losing the love of your life, especially piece by piece due to ALS, will be one of the most difficult things you will ever experience. In my humble opinion, there is no better place than Seattle to make a fresh jumping off point. It is scary, certainly not easy, there will be lonliness and clouds that will seem to never go away, but the sun in Seattle is the most beautiful, uplifting event. There is water everywhere and it will refresh you from head to toe and into your soul. All YOU must do is be a sponge that soaks it up. I keep my past close to me---the people no longer here, the heart breaks, the joys, the fears---all of it. The past can push you forward or weigh you down, THAT is a choice we must make, a responsibility we have to ourselves and all those we loved/love. Welcome to Seattle and all the wonderful adventures that await you!

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  2. Thank you, Diane. What you say is very true. Funny thing - my mother was divorced when I was very young. She never got over my father, never stopped loving him, never remarried. She lived with Martin and I for over 25 years and she spent a great deal of time "living in the past." It annoyed me but I now find myself doing the very same thing - not quite as often - but I do it! Actually, I find myself doing a lot of things my mother used to do, the older I get.

    Thank you for stopping by. I should also let you know that I enjoy reading your blog.

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  3. Thank you for the follow. Your blog is so thoughtful and full of love and memory. Love, longing and sorrow shape who we are and can make us whole human beings if we survive. My loving thoughts to you. xoxo, paulette

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  4. Thank you, Paulette for your kind words and thank you for stopping by. Your blog is lovely - so French!

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  5. My father left my mom the day I was born. (They had 2 boys too AND he had a 2yr old girl with his mistress who he then married) My mom called him EVERY New Years Eve until his death 20+ yrs later in at age 56. He turned her down every call. She kept her wedding ring. He was the love of her life. She did try dating pther men fro newspaper ads, prisoner ads, ya know? She never recovered. When my first love left me for my brother, I was devastated, it was over 20 years before I could look at Mt Rainier and not think of her and tear up. The difference between Mom and me is I moved on, found new, lasting love within 3 years and 30 years later we share an eternal love. I do not stay in the past, but that hole in my heart the first one carved will never leave. I accept and move on. It is a part of all I am. There is a better love out there. Look until you die. Don't fight the pain, it will lessen. Scars are the badges of victory, of the brave.

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